From the Black Notebooks

In the story From the Black Notebooks, Toi Derricotte speaks about being a rather light-skinned African American. This causes her trouble because she feels as if she doesn't fit in both communities. Although she is treated as a white, deep down she knows she isn't. When she goes into the real estate agents' offices, she "puts on a mask." She needs to be white in order to buy a house in a white neighborhood. She also talks about the time she took her car to the shop and the mechanic said, "You don't have to worry about stealing as long as the niggers don't move in." She was able to control her temper knowing that she might need his help in the future. But if it were me, I probably wouldn't be able to stay calm. She is afraid that if she tells people that she's African American, they will disdain her.